Tomorrow I will be performing the Gospel of Luke at St. Mark’s Catholic Church in Boise, Idaho. The administrative staff there has been great about getting the word out and being very supportive. Announcements have been placed in other church’s bulletins, and there is a full-page ad in St. Mark’s Sunday bulletin.
The church has seating for 1,500 people. But it is impossible to know how many will be there. It could be 10 people, it could be over 1,000. I will find out tomorrow.
Anxiety is starting to set in, because I want it to be a success. I want people to like it. So far, it has been well-received, but this is a much larger venue with more people. I just don’t know what to expect.
And I don’t know what to wear. This is an ongoing issue. I don’t have a ‘biblical’ outfit, and that’s fine because I don’t really want to harken to the past. This is, in my mind, a contemporary experience. But even so, there should be some costume elements that evoke the biblical time and the biblical mission, without implying that I have more knowledge or authority than I do. I am just a layperson. But this kind of costume idea takes some nuance and expertise, these are things I do not have. I don’t know what to wear.
I think many friends and acquaintances are coming, and I cannot bear the thought of disappointing them. I want them to like this performance, because I want them to like me! It feels like I am flirting with catastrophe here.
I’ve always been uncomfortable as a performer. Even small roles and small projects fill me with dread and anxiety. But so far, I have always been glad that I dealt with the uncomfortable feelings and went onstage anyway. I hope this situation is the same.
This the opportunity of a lifetime, and that is not hyperbole. I started memorizing pieces in 1983 in drama class at South Junior High School in Nampa Idaho. My career as an audiobook narrator was a logical progression on this path. And now I have returned to Idaho, with professional experience and my own choice of material and now a real audience. It’s because this is so meaningful to me that I am so uncomfortable in the day leading up to the performance.









